ShatteredPlanet

Episode 17,009,345- Ghosts incest,Other Worldly Anallingus,Taunting Blue Eyed Dump Monsters

Bruce Holland — Sat, 30 May 2009 00:08:23 GMT

You talk about jam packed? Danny Kaye's booty wasn't as crammed full of jelly, that's for sure. This episode was a hoot and holler with many paranormal delicacies to munch. Leading off is Owen, he gets the blood-a-flowin' with an alluring tale of colon gobbling interstellar interlopers.Next, the lion tamer exploded a vaporous goody for all to inhale involving a pesky shit talking earthsquirm. The finale was left up to your favorite fatso Walnut. Never one to disappoint, he chronicled three eerie anecdotes of phantasmal meddling. Try not to scare yourself to orgasm with our excellence. Oh yeah,call us @ 1-206-350-1761 to give us a spooky experience or leave us a comment right here, we'll be sure to ignore them immediately!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Episode #16,909,581-Alien Technology, Alien abuction, Racist Interview

Bruce Holland — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 22:48:44 GMT

All of the behind the scenes personnel would like to send our prayers and well wishes to Brucie and the gang.Your favorite paranormal squad recently convened for some fringe topic dissemination and everything went haywire somehow. All was going well with the remote broadcast, being conducted in area 51, until Snowie Jim showed up anyway.The lovable sasquatch went snooping in a restricted zone and got our group of zany fringe topic factoid circulators into some dutch.Snowie burst into their makeshift studio with news of alien proof rendering our cuddly jerkoffs hopeless to abandon their equipment in the desert.By the sounds of it they narrowly avoided being caught by government employees of the top-secret citadel, but they haven't been heard from since. This chapter includes pieces of literary acumen in the form of Ristopher's brain bender on alien technology, Walnut's abduction story, and an intriguing interview with a racist colonel housed in area 51.Stay tuned to the faculty riddled transmissions of awesomeness for more on our boys whereabouts. So long earthling bitches

Episode# 15,151,515-Rio's Shocker,The Hills, Skinwalkers

Bruce Holland — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 00:47:36 GMT

You thought that they decided to hang it up,huh? Guess again earthling bitches!!! The most revered assemblage of fringe topic investigating hoodlums you know ,have graced the airwaves once again. Not even the likes of the F.C.C. would stop their ceaseless pursuit of unexpurgated paranormal promulgation. Albeit, with Billy Rios, the technical producer, getting his hindquarters lit up while electronically circumventing the fucking censorious commission .Still, the crew forged forward offering some sparkling pieces of horrifying preternatural shizzer. The lion tamer told a tale of an alien abducted duo-- Betty and Barney hill, and Owen spun a web of intrigue with regards to skinwalkers.Brucie just annoyed the crap out of all in attendance, as usual, with his incessant querying. Sure not to disappoint, grab a drink , turn it on, get a woody, and love it till you get your undies dirty.

Christmas special

Bruce Holland — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 06:52:53 GMT

After all of the show's vicissitudes, and fans patronage despite them, ShatPlan couldn't help but be imbued with the holiday spirit this season.Consequently, the cast decided to convene this Christmas Eve to gift our faithful with paranormal tidbits and laughter. Enraptured with bewilderment the crew greeted a well known sleigh driving bigot dropped in to spread some yuletide cheer---concomitantly ,most of the alcohol on hand was consumed with yucks and insight proliferating in the wake of said inebriation .We feel we should forewarn you to grab eggnog and K.Y. in preparation of the earrape you are about to endure.This one is a real humdinger,so Merry holidays to you and enjoy this gift heartily ;earthling bitches. P.S.---- Save the nasty e-mails , Saint Nick told us to tell you to fuck off!!!!

Episode #14,763,902--Grey Man & Murdering Ghosts

Bruce Holland — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 04:57:35 GMT

Greetings faithful,sorry for the inordinate hiatus,but the gang is indeed back in prime form again!! Paranormal boners are in full effect in this grabasstic episode so unless you want a pregnant brain put an earhole condom in,fuckheads.This chapter will get the hair on your neck standing straight up. Ristopher's piece on a big grey colon pounder in the Scottish mountains. Owen Dedliver also chimes in with an bone chilling tale of ghostly murder. Turn the lights out, and listen just before bed. We can assure you will have nightmares....or maybe shit the sheets. You never can tell really. Thanks for taking the time , eartling bitches.

Episode #13,131,313

Bruce Holland — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 04:24:51 GMT

Wow!! What a few months it has been for us here at ShatPlan. Look,the cast has been through it's fair share of trials and tribulations. An unwillingness to fail, or sheer stupidity, one of two, has kept the crew going through many hardships this past year. This episode is a summary of the goings on in the Shatteredplanet world since August of 07'.All of the cast members managed to make bail for this episode, thank goodness for Wellingtons billion dollar bank roll, and the American judicial system's thirst for payola.That's right, Brucie and the group are sure to enlighten as usual with the likes of Owen,Walnut,Rios,Ristopher,Snowie,Lenny and Fortworth ,all aiding in the listeners becoming ,or heightening their paranormal awareness.Tune in , get a boner, shoot yourself with a bazooka------fuck, we don't really care what you do as long as you dig it.

Episode #12,987,001-the beach episode

Bruce Holland — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 05:25:37 GMT

The journey continues!!!! Our fearless team is relentlessly headed to a rendezvous with Todd and Larry in the Bermuda Triangle, and nothing seems to be capable of stopping our heroes. A near demise was met in the last episode when the paranormal crew endured a mishap in the skies of Florida. Thankfully though, none of our friends were hurt and they all parachuted to safety . Their stories of bravery are ultra interesting and revealed thoroughly in this comprehensive chapter. Tune in for another piece to the," let's go save our buddy Walnut," saga.

Episode #-11,001,001 Snowie gets us busted

Bruce Holland — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 04:41:45 GMT

Many hearty hellos to all or our fans.We would like to thank all of you people for tuning in to what may be the last episode of ShatteredPlanet.As many of the faithful listeners are aware, the line up has been in a state of flux for a while.This all began with Brucie receiving the startling news of Todd Walnut's tragic airplane demise.After many months of searching and interviewing, a new co-host was added, and the old antics were once again afoot.Subsequently, a telephone message to the fusion message line renewed hope that the long lost Walnut was actually alive and well. Unfortunately though, the posse nearly lost the show completely through destitution.Immanent bankruptcy in sight,and minutes left in what seemed to be the final installment of ShatPlan; a financial backer arose- enter Wellington Fortworth. The billionaire underwriter was so taken with the pursuit of paranormal excellence that he purchased ShatteredPlanet, and inked lucrative long term contracts with all of the staff at that time;saving the beleaguered show . The whole crew then decided to employ the new resources at its disposal to rescue it's lost co-founder. The episode you are about to here is the audio footage recorded by our heroic crew in the throws of that selfless pilgrimage.It was recovered from the black box in the wreckage of the opulent 737 that Wellington provided for them. None of the crew were recovered from that flight.Stay tuned for updates to their whereabouts.

Episode # 10,932,611

Bruce Holland — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 12:57:23 GMT

Fantastic topics again? Yes indeed you paranormal junkies!! This show is dripping with editorial superiority and we are proud to serve it up for you guys. First off, Brucie grabs the listeners by the genitals with a comprehensive discussion into the crystal skull phenomena. Then, Ristopher Burmese will take you deep into the soft underbelly of cryptozoology with an asian death reaping monster known as the Mongolian death worm.Oh yeah, Billy Rios calls in about some technological shit as well. Your ears and brain will never be the same. Fuck me runnin', I just rhymed!!! Is that paranormal? Check it out earthling bitches.

Walnut special

Bruce Holland — Thu, 29 May 2008 02:45:34 GMT

Holy Shit!! Walnut has been very productive lately with his messages to apprise us of his status in the Bermuda triangle. He left a message within the last few hours in fact! Todd made a request for the square table to be reposted, so-- ask and ye shall receive. We are coming to get you , so stay put asshole!!! P.S.--- I hope you enjoy the post, and be sure to eat enough while you are on the plane. Brucie

Episode 9,067,383-The telethon episode

Bruce Holland — Wed, 07 May 2008 04:28:18 GMT

With our main fiduciary backer, Todd Walnut,inextricably holed up in a perpetually moving airplane; the outlook for ShatteredPlanet was bleak. We were penniless with no end in sight.Subsequently , our crew and equipment were forcefully removed from our studio due to a lack of funds to defray rent cost. Nonetheless, we luckily moved temporary encampment to an abandoned bowling alley which served as a place of podcast gold on the outskirts of Cleveland. Let the phone telethon begin!!! The telethon was orchestrated beautifully by Billy Rios, behind the scenes , answering calls. After enormous contributions from Wesley Snipes, and Oprah Winfrey , things were looking up in a big way. Enter the lion tamer, Ristopher Bermese!!! The newest addition to the p.o.o.r. - or ( panel of obnoxious researchers) decided to go an a verbal terror. After permanently scarring a little girl on the phone , the gigantic donations began to recant and once again, we were broke. Never fear though, Brucie's long lost brother----Fortworth , wentworth , bizmarkie, walkerman, herbert, fillabustering, yada , yada yada.................. called to save the day with a bottomless bank account. The show culminated with Mr. Holland storming out of the bowling alley to the tune of Grizelda Walnut<<<<------( see picture above), Todd's Wife, calling the show.She informed Owen that his misguided d.n.a. wad that was intended for her colon accidently found it's target in her fallopian tubes, with the help of his little piggies. Lot's of mayhem, little I.Q., what more could you want in a paranormal podcast?

Episode#7,000,063-remastered

Bruce Holland — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 06:03:44 GMT

How to describe this show, that is the question. Another shuffling of the starting line up brought Ristopher Bermese into the studio to infect all with perma-grin and dispense some spinal tingling ghostly audio.Brucie laid down a modern day story of woeful demonic possession as well. Behind the scenes , Billy Rios conducted the misfits superbly as he played technical producer in the place of the ousted Robbie the disputatious robot. Ristopher's new found girl toy also contributed a sterling call to the show and the whole unstable concoction nearly reached explosive levels in the studio;thank god for valium. After canvasing the greater Ohio area for votes ---the decision is in. It's unanimous .........by way of knockout.............. still the funniest paranormal internet show available for download.............ShatteredPlanet!!!!!

Episode#6,666,006

Bruce Holland — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 12:28:35 GMT

Smiles were aplenty as an interim sidekick for Mr. Holland made his way to the show. A world class lion tamer and bullshit expert, Ristopher Bermese, crash landed into the fray in this episode. He delivered a whopper on ghostly sexual devices, and boy was it insightful!!!Let us also add that he advanced this heap of dung from the Stanley hotel no less; with ghosts in tow. See picture to the right and above---------------------------------------------------^ Brucie, as usual, orchestrated a sparkling top ten list of his scariest horror movies of all time. Snowie Jim and Lenny called in to voice their approval of jbiz’s temporary replacement, while the rest of the ShatteredPlanet zaniness was in abundant splendor as well. This episode deserves a seat in the annuls of paranormal excellence, and we hope you agree!!!

Episode#4,444,937-Owen Licks A Taint

Bruce Holland — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 06:56:07 GMT

Fans rejoice, another piece to the debauched paranormal jigsaw puzzle has been jammed into place. This episode has a couple of great stories to wet your goddamn whistle. Owen sloppily slapped a shitty story of reptile retards together while Bruce advanced some recent U.F.O sightings. Dr. Dedliver also received a message from a basketball legend to inform him of lascivious goings on in his past. All of that and a heaping helping more. Thank you once again for spending the time with us, you won't be disappointed!!!!

Episode#4,444,002

Bruce Holland — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 00:52:04 GMT

If you are into paranormal facts, well you are in for a treat in this episode. This program includes a ton of dainty morsels, such as: Appalachian birdmen, Doppelgangers, Spontaneous Human Combustion, and a phone interview with Mothman. There are also plenty of shenanigans to wet your fringe topic taste buds as well. Tune in, you won't be disappointed with the usual interaction between Owen and Brucie.

Dr. Owen Dedliver's debut

Bruce Holland — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 03:31:39 GMT

As the faithful fans of Shattered Planed are well aware, recently the program was dealt a great blow. Todd Walnut, one of the co-hosts , was lost to a tragic plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle. The show conducted an exhaustive search for a replacement and we found a real doozy---Dr. Owen Dedliver, or J-biz as Bruce Holland affectionately coined him. In this J-biz introductory episode we cover: Shadow People, Chuppacabra , and much more. R.I.P. Todd Walnut and welcome aboard J-biz .

Episode#- 3,000,000( Spooktacular )

Bruce Holland — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 22:29:09 GMT

A bucolic episode in the Colorado mountains came to a tragic and abrupt end for us at ShatteredPlanet. Grizelda Walnut phoned into the fusion line to pass some grave news on to us. One day prior to recording the show Todd and Larry the leprechaun jumped into Walnut's private jet and headed to the Bermuda triangle for some investigative/ business work. Upon entering the triangle the jet disappeared from F.A.A. radar prompting a search and rescue team to be deployed. The team was ordered back though after two of the helicopters were shot down by U.F.O.' subsequently rendering a ," Lost at sea" tag from the F.A.A. Mrs.Walnut's call obviously dampend the spirits of everyone involved in the recording and we decided to curtail the show immediately. I must say that the paranormal commutiy has lost a briliant investigator and preeminent journalist in the field. You will not be forgotten Todd and Larry. Oh by the way, Snowie---you ought to be downright ashamed of yourself for defiling Todd's headstone like that, you will surely burn in the flames of Hades for that one asshole!!! P.S.---After weeks of mourning and deliberation with the ShatteredPlanet team, we have decide to push on with the show. We are currently accepting resume's for a new co-host.

Episode # 2,300,0012

Bruce Holland — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 02:09:19 GMT

Here is another in the long line of abortions we call a radio program. Walnut pissed Brucie off good with the decision he made to forgo giving the listeners a story. Mr.Holland then hit a home run with a piece concerning the dark side of the moon. Lenny actually went to the earthly satellite for a roaming reporter's first hand account of lunar goings on. The interviewee we had planned called into the show saying that he was dead, with his racially foul-mouthed replacement getting thrown off. Lively phone messages and e-mail rounded out our best show to date.

Episode# 1,485,616

Bruce Holland — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 02:15:51 GMT

Walnut shows up after a 485,616 show hiatus. The story he has for his disappearance is ridiculous but is later corroborated by Snowie Jim the abominable snowman. Snowie decides to give a demonstration of remote viewing and commandeers the show. Lenny calls and turns the tables with his colorful personality prevailing in hanging up and return control to the incapacitated hosts. This is a must listen for paranormal fans everywhere

Episode # 1,230,455

Bruce Holland — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 04:36:31 GMT

This episode was an experiment in futility. Walnut has been gone for a while and it is beginning to worry me. The culmination of this show is a star studded square table event with lots of yucks and cut-downs coming from the likes of :Robbie the robot, Jose the android, Lenny the Leprechaun, and Beelzebub. This one is a little drier without Todd, but the whole thing works out in the end.