ShatteredPlanet

After all of the show's vicissitudes, and fans patronage despite them, ShatPlan couldn't help but be imbued with
the holiday spirit this season.Consequently, the cast decided to convene this Christmas Eve to gift our faithful with paranormal tidbits and laughter. Enraptured with bewilderment the crew greeted a well known sleigh driving bigot dropped in to spread some yuletide cheer---concomitantly ,most of the alcohol on hand was consumed with yucks and insight proliferating in the wake of said inebriation .We feel we should forewarn you to grab eggnog and K.Y. in preparation of the earrape you are about to endure.This one is a real humdinger,so Merry holidays to you and enjoy this gift
heartily ;earthling bitches.

P.S.---- Save the nasty e-mails , Saint Nick told us to tell you to fuck off!!!!

A village somewhere is missing its idiot. Reapsow radio is in dire need of a replacement host after Brucie annihilated the incumbent. Creep, not knowing when to clam up, spewed some spurious garbage and Mr. Holland volunteered to stuff a verbal sock in his poop bucket once again. Tune into this shortie for a good chuckle and lesson on research , or the lack thereof,and how it may lead to your evaporation.

W/Love from the ShatteredPlanet Crew

P.S. Here are the links to the websites referenced in this
platinum cast.

http://www.dailyprincetonian.com/archives/2006/10/11/news/16146.shtml

http://web.princeton.edu/sites/opplab/research.htm

This week we talk, I'm sorry, no "we" this week or any other week really. I am a bored dickless little man without a personality , so I bought a radioshack microphone and sucked
some peeder to get a weekly spot dishing out mediocrity.This week I'll admit that I like drinking manseed ,among other things.I also discuss somethings that I hate. I just want to clarify though, Shatteredplanet.podomatic.com is the mostest if you want internet entertainment . I really appreciate the time they have spent humoring my brainless rants.

Love Reap" give me a mouthful of your swimmers" Slow

This is what happens when you open your mouth and learn the real deal Holyfield. Brucie got mad ,and put a verbal beatdown on some sucka running his cock-tent. Please use discretion when running smack about Shatteredplanet!!!! How did that taste , Reap Sow chump? You got a whole gang of dudes on that ass now beeeeeeatttttttttch!!!!!!!!!!!

Greetings faithful,sorry for the inordinate hiatus,but the gang is indeed back in prime form again!! Paranormal boners
are in full effect in this grabasstic episode so unless you want a pregnant brain put an earhole condom in,fuckheads.This chapter will get the hair on your neck standing straight up. Ristopher's piece on a big grey colon pounder in the Scottish mountains. Owen Dedliver also chimes in with an bone chilling tale of ghostly murder. Turn the lights out, and listen just before bed. We can assure you will have nightmares....or maybe shit the sheets. You never can tell really. Thanks for taking the time , eartling bitches.

Wow!! What a few months it has been for us here at ShatPlan. Look,the cast has been through it's fair share of trials and tribulations. An unwillingness to fail, or sheer stupidity, one of two, has kept the crew going through many hardships this past year. This episode is a summary of the goings on in the Shatteredplanet world since August of 07'.All of the cast members managed to make bail for this episode, thank goodness for Wellingtons billion dollar bank roll, and the American judicial system's thirst for payola.That's right, Brucie and the group are sure to enlighten as usual with the likes of Owen,Walnut,Rios,Ristopher,Snowie,Lenny and Fortworth ,all aiding in the listeners becoming ,or heightening their paranormal awareness.Tune in , get a boner, shoot yourself with a bazooka------fuck, we don't really care what you do as long as you dig it.

The journey continues!!!! Our fearless team is relentlessly
headed to a rendezvous with Todd and Larry in the Bermuda Triangle, and nothing seems to be capable of stopping our heroes. A near demise was met in the last episode when the paranormal crew endured a mishap in the skies of Florida. Thankfully though, none of our friends were hurt and they all parachuted to
safety . Their stories of bravery are ultra interesting and revealed thoroughly in this comprehensive chapter. Tune in for another piece to the," let's go save our buddy Walnut," saga.

Many hearty hellos to all or our fans.We would like to thank all of you people for tuning in to what may be the last episode of ShatteredPlanet.As many of the faithful listeners are aware, the line up has been in a state of flux for a while.This all began with Brucie receiving the startling news of Todd Walnut's tragic airplane demise.After many months of searching and interviewing, a new co-host was added, and the old antics were once again afoot.Subsequently, a telephone message to the fusion message line renewed hope that the long lost Walnut was actually alive and well. Unfortunately though, the posse nearly lost the show completely through destitution.Immanent bankruptcy in sight,and minutes left in what seemed to be the final installment of ShatPlan; a financial backer arose- enter Wellington Fortworth. The billionaire underwriter was so taken with the pursuit of paranormal excellence that he purchased ShatteredPlanet, and inked lucrative long term contracts with all of the staff at that time;saving the beleaguered show . The whole crew then decided to employ the new resources at its disposal to rescue it's lost co-founder. The episode you are about to here is the audio footage recorded by our heroic crew in the throws of that selfless pilgrimage.It was recovered from the black box in the wreckage of the opulent 737 that Wellington provided for them. None of the crew were recovered from that flight.Stay tuned for updates to their whereabouts.

Fantastic topics again? Yes indeed you paranormal junkies!! This show is dripping with editorial superiority and we are proud to serve it up for you guys. First off, Brucie grabs the listeners by the genitals with a comprehensive discussion into the crystal skull phenomena. Then, Ristopher Burmese will take you deep into the soft underbelly of cryptozoology with an asian death reaping monster known as the Mongolian death worm.Oh yeah, Billy Rios calls in about some technological shit as well. Your ears and brain will never be the same. Fuck me runnin', I just rhymed!!! Is that paranormal? Check it out earthling bitches.

Holy Shit!! Walnut has been very productive lately with his messages to apprise us of his status in the Bermuda triangle. He left a message within the last few hours in fact! Todd made a request for the square table to be reposted, so-- ask and ye
shall receive. We are coming to get you , so stay put asshole!!!

P.S.--- I hope you enjoy the post, and be sure to eat enough while you are on the plane.

Brucie

With our main fiduciary backer, Todd Walnut,inextricably holed up in a perpetually moving airplane; the outlook for ShatteredPlanet was bleak. We were penniless with no end in sight.Subsequently , our crew and equipment were forcefully removed from our studio due to a lack of funds to defray rent cost. Nonetheless, we luckily moved temporary encampment to
an abandoned bowling alley which served as a place of podcast gold on the outskirts of Cleveland. Let the phone telethon begin!!! The telethon was orchestrated beautifully by Billy Rios, behind the scenes , answering calls. After enormous contributions from Wesley Snipes, and Oprah Winfrey , things were looking up in a big way. Enter the lion tamer, Ristopher Bermese!!! The newest addition to the p.o.o.r. - or ( panel of obnoxious researchers) decided to go an a verbal terror. After permanently scarring a little girl on the phone , the gigantic donations began to recant and once again, we were broke. Never fear though, Brucie's long lost brother----Fortworth , wentworth , bizmarkie, walkerman, herbert, fillabustering, yada , yada yada.................. called to save the day with a bottomless bank account. The show culminated with Mr. Holland storming out of the bowling alley to the tune of Grizelda Walnut<<<<------( see picture above), Todd's Wife, calling the show.She informed Owen that his misguided d.n.a. wad that was intended for her colon accidently found it's target in her fallopian tubes, with the help of his little piggies. Lot's of mayhem, little I.Q., what more could you want in a paranormal podcast?

How to describe this show, that is the question. Another shuffling of the starting line up brought Ristopher Bermese into the studio to infect all with perma-grin and dispense some spinal tingling ghostly audio.Brucie laid down a modern day story of woeful demonic possession as well. Behind the scenes , Billy Rios conducted the misfits superbly as he played technical producer in the place of the ousted Robbie the disputatious robot. Ristopher's new found girl toy also contributed a sterling call to the show and the whole unstable concoction nearly reached explosive levels in the studio;thank god for valium. After canvasing the greater Ohio area for votes ---the decision is in. It's unanimous .........by way of knockout.............. still the funniest paranormal internet show available for download.............ShatteredPlanet!!!!!

Smiles were aplenty as an interim sidekick for Mr. Holland made his way to the show. A world class lion tamer and bullshit expert, Ristopher Bermese, crash landed into the fray in this episode. He delivered a whopper on ghostly sexual devices, and boy was it insightful!!!Let us also add that he advanced this heap of dung from the Stanley hotel no less; with ghosts in tow. See picture to the right and above---------------------------------------------------^ Brucie, as usual, orchestrated a sparkling top ten list of his scariest horror movies of all time. Snowie Jim and Lenny called in to voice their approval of jbiz’s temporary replacement, while the rest of the ShatteredPlanet zaniness was in abundant splendor as well. This episode deserves a seat in the annuls of paranormal excellence, and we hope you agree!!!

Fans rejoice, another piece to the debauched paranormal jigsaw puzzle has been jammed into place. This episode has a couple of great stories to wet your goddamn whistle. Owen sloppily slapped a shitty story of reptile retards together while Bruce advanced some recent U.F.O sightings. Dr. Dedliver also received a message from a basketball legend to inform him of lascivious goings on in his past. All of that and a heaping helping more. Thank you once again for spending the time with us, you won't be disappointed!!!!

If you are into paranormal facts, well you are in for a treat in this episode. This program includes a ton of dainty morsels, such as: Appalachian birdmen, Doppelgangers, Spontaneous Human Combustion, and a phone interview with Mothman. There are also plenty of shenanigans to wet your fringe topic taste buds as well. Tune in, you won't be disappointed with the usual interaction between Owen and Brucie.

As the faithful fans of Shattered Planed are well aware, recently the program was dealt a great blow. Todd Walnut, one of the co-hosts , was lost to a tragic plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle. The show conducted an exhaustive search for a replacement and we found a real doozy---Dr. Owen Dedliver, or J-biz as Bruce Holland affectionately coined him. In this J-biz introductory episode we cover: Shadow People, Chuppacabra , and much more. R.I.P. Todd Walnut and welcome aboard J-biz .

A bucolic episode in the Colorado mountains came to a tragic and abrupt end for us at ShatteredPlanet. Grizelda Walnut phoned into the fusion line to pass some grave news on to us. One day prior to recording the show Todd and Larry the leprechaun jumped into Walnut's private jet and headed to the Bermuda triangle for some investigative/ business work. Upon entering the triangle the jet disappeared from F.A.A. radar prompting a search and rescue
team to be deployed. The team was ordered back though after two of the helicopters were shot down by U.F.O.' subsequently rendering a ," Lost at sea" tag from the F.A.A. Mrs.Walnut's call obviously dampend the spirits of everyone involved in the recording and we decided to curtail the show immediately. I must say that the paranormal commutiy has lost a briliant investigator and preeminent journalist in the field. You will not be forgotten Todd and Larry. Oh by the way, Snowie---you ought to be downright ashamed of yourself for defiling Todd's headstone like that, you will surely burn in the flames of Hades for that one asshole!!!

P.S.---After weeks of mourning and deliberation with the ShatteredPlanet team, we have decide to push on with the show. We are currently accepting resume's for a new co-host.

Walnut shows up after a 485,616 show hiatus. The story he has for his disappearance is ridiculous but is later corroborated by Snowie Jim the abominable snowman. Snowie decides to give a demonstration of remote viewing and commandeers the show. Lenny calls and turns the tables with his colorful personality prevailing in hanging up and return control to the incapacitated hosts. This is a must listen for paranormal fans everywhere

Here is another in the long line of abortions we call a radio program. Walnut
pissed me off good with the decision he made to omit a story. I hit a home run with a piece on the dark side of the moon. Lenny went to the moon for a roaming reporter's first hand account of aliens. The interviewee we had planed actually called the show dead with his replacement getting thrown off. Lively phone messages and e-mail rounded out the best show ever.

This episode was an experiment in futility. Walnut has been gone for a while and it is beginning to worry me. The culmination of this show is a star studded square table event with lots of yucks and cut-downs coming from the likes of :Robbie the robot, Jose the android, Lenny the Leprechaun, and Beelzebub. This one is a little drier without Todd, but the whole thing works out in the end.